hmm.. first the poem: i think the last stanza compensates for what is a simple start..the parting is described in a vivid manner, as would suit the mellowed mood in the initial part. but the last line packs in a solid punch, and it creeps up behind unobtrusively and u realise what is being meant only after reading it twice.. there is no crying n shouting, just a simple vengeance hidden in that last sentence.. could not get the context of the 'strive' word in the poem though coz u r in a way snapping of ties with the other person.. as for the image, its beautiful n refreshing. n apt for the title.. though not in the league of such stunners like 'the lonely princess' post on your blog.. keep blogging girl..ur posts pack a punch :)
I wondered how did I miss this post in the community. I just looked again and found it posted out there. Anyways.
The start is too brilliant and very vivid ( or might I use 'graphic' as Strider has already used that word :-) )
Well I don't really know what happened to rest of the poem as it all of a sudden went 'too out of the flow'. I really read it plenty of times but it was full of stutters. Either you were too absorbed in underlying emotions and didn't pay attention to keeping the flow 'natural' and text is full of stutters which I take as representative of 'sobs'; or you just didn't care!
Both ways, the poet's mind is chaotic out there.
See you then and mind my rustiness; it's been a long time to comment :-)
5 comments:
hmm..
first the poem: i think the last stanza compensates for what is a simple start..the parting is described in a vivid manner, as would suit the mellowed mood in the initial part. but the last line packs in a solid punch, and it creeps up behind unobtrusively and u realise what is being meant only after reading it twice.. there is no crying n shouting, just a simple vengeance hidden in that last sentence..
could not get the context of the 'strive' word in the poem though coz u r in a way snapping of ties with the other person..
as for the image, its beautiful n refreshing. n apt for the title.. though not in the league of such stunners like 'the lonely princess' post on your blog..
keep blogging girl..ur posts pack a punch :)
Nice
but very subtle and smooth.
And before you know it's over
I guess I gotta revisit the road.
keep it rollin;)
I wondered how did I miss this post in the community. I just looked again and found it posted out there. Anyways.
The start is too brilliant and very vivid ( or might I use 'graphic' as Strider has already used that word :-) )
Well I don't really know what happened to rest of the poem as it all of a sudden went 'too out of the flow'. I really read it plenty of times but it was full of stutters. Either you were too absorbed in underlying emotions and didn't pay attention to keeping the flow 'natural' and text is full of stutters which I take as representative of 'sobs'; or you just didn't care!
Both ways, the poet's mind is chaotic out there.
See you then and mind my rustiness; it's been a long time to comment :-)
Levid
really good one!! :)
i liked it!
especially the irony of
'not that i regret your loss or miss u for life.....' to the solemn wish in the end :)
of course you do, but you wished you didn't!! i feel your pain.
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