first the poem: i liked the free flowing rhyme. and the metre was also under control. the theme was very topical n relevant. though i think the word 'reaps' sounds a bit odd n also the line 'something was going on in his head above' cud do with sum fine tuning...
and the imagery: well it takes the cake..simple images made lively by the juxtaposition of blank n filled cubes on opposite sides. the backgrnd image of coins in the text is simply awesome..all in all its a great combo of apt images for a great theme..do keep posting..cheers, ethereal!
5 comments:
NICE!!!:) Impressive. left me asking for more. Could have taken the reader for a ride a lil further. god one.
keep it rollin;)
Gud one, realistic human themes that u always explore :)
keep writing,
shashank
this piece was awsome.very gripping and makes you ask for more.you can give any writer a run for his money.keep it up.
this one..i wuld rate it as ur best..
u talked of the aspect which people dont realise up for..
first the poem: i liked the free flowing rhyme. and the metre was also under control. the theme was very topical n relevant. though i think the word 'reaps' sounds a bit odd n also the line 'something was going on in his head above' cud do with sum fine tuning...
and the imagery: well it takes the cake..simple images made lively by the juxtaposition of blank n filled cubes on opposite sides. the backgrnd image of coins in the text is simply awesome..all in all its a great combo of apt images for a great theme..do keep posting..cheers, ethereal!
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