Define 'faith'...?

Following a slew of religious rituals is something that I’ve always tried to keep away from. Blindly abiding by the traditions and/or following them is something that’s beyond me. And no way am I trying to establish here that I’m a rebel or anything. (And even if once in a while I do anything, it’s simply to keep my mum happy, as she’s a devout follower of my religion.) It’s simply that things that were followed years ago cannot become a way of my life. Of course, never ever have I tried to diss someone’s belief in something, even if I don’t second it. It’s as simple – you do what convinces you, and let me walk the path that looks sane to me.

My father truly respects Sai Baba, and wanted to make a trip to Shirdi since years. I want to confess that when I see Sai Baba’s picture, I do feel that the saint exudes a great level of honesty and modesty (a lot more than the ones who claim to be his reincarnations and have conveniently prefixed a ‘Sai’ to their names, or added a ‘Baba’ after it). The little that I have known about him and the fact that whatever little he received, be it in the form of cash or kind, was always donated to the needy, makes me respect him. So, after years of my father wanting to plan a trip to Shirdi (it was his second trip, of course), four days ago, we finally went there. And this blog entry stems from my experience there.

To begin with, if you’ve never visited Shirdi, then let me tell you that it is as busy a place as Mumbai or any of the other metros of India. It’s got traffic, it has got loads of people, and it has got innumerable hotels. Apart from the hotels, of course, you have the MTDC guest house, and a couple of places that are specially-built for the visitors who’d want to stay at a slightly cheaper accommodation. Great credit to that thought!

Now coming to our experience. As soon as we walked into the main gate, this man handed me a slip that mentioned his shop’s number, address, and details of the things that are available there, such as flowers, cocounts (that’s not a typo; he meant ‘coconut’!). He kept telling us that if we bought stuff from his shop, he’d take care of our footwear. Needless to say, we didn't look well-versed with the working of things, and also the cost of the things available there, which is why, simply for a small garland, a medium-sized packet of Prasad, two little pieces of cloth, and a coconut, he took…correction…fleeced us to a sum of 641 bucks. (The next day when I happened to speak to the MD of Hotel Kala Sai, the place where we were staying, he told us that this entire packet is not priced a rupee more than one hundred bucks.) I do understand that you can’t have a loss-making business even if it involves religion, but selling and rather cheating people to this extent in the name of religion is beyond my understanding.

Now let me share the main darshan experience. Both my parents are senior citizens, and my mother has a knee issue. Wise-enough that we were, we’d carried the doctor’s letter, which clearly states that she suffers from a knee problem. Every senior citizen or handicapped person can be accompanied by a caretaker; so, I was my mother’s ‘caretaker’! Now, while my mother and I were allowed in for the darshan, the security guard refused to allow my father to come with us without a senior citizen pass. Alright, I understand, rules are rules. Bottom line, my father was left behind and he had to figure out a way for himself. Now, after waiting for 20-25 minutes for my father, my mum and I decided to pay our respects to the main statue. I understand things such as worship, belief, love for a religion or a saint, etc., but what I fail to understand is the fact that how can you be so lost in paying your share of respects that you conveniently push someone only so that you get that inch of extra space, or that second of extra time in front of the idol. Also, what’s beyond me is the way in which people just throw themselves on the floor to pay their respects. In a place where people are literally sticking to each other, and are getting pulled and pushed, wouldn’t it make sense to show some kind of sanity? Trust me, on reaching the main place, we weren't there for more than five seconds.

So, after this, we finally come out of the main area, and are still searching my father. (Since mobile phones are not allowed in the main area, calling him on his phone was also not an option). Mum and I finally decided that it made sense to head back to the hotel. So there I went requesting the security guards, etc., that if they happen to see my father, please tell him that we’ve left for the hotel. During which time, my mother waited next to a shop that was selling idols and various items related to Sai Baba. She was super tired and exhausted, and all she did was requested the owner to allow her to sit on the stool that was kept outside the shop. All that the man could do was snub her with a No, and pick up the stool and take it in. This act of meanness reaffirmed my faith in the fact that no amount of religion or devotion can teach you manners or humanity.

Finally my mum and I went to the hotel, and after an hour or so, my father also walked in.

So, while my belief in the power and truth of Sai Baba remains as strong as before, the question that keeps coming to my mind is that is your definition of faith and belief different from mine? If I don’t lay in front of an idol, and rather keep standing in front of it with folded hands and closed eyes, is my prayer reaching my god minutes or hours after yours? And while I stood there in admiration, watching some people who could barely walk, struggle their way to the main area, a part of me thinks, would any god or saint appreciate the fact that you’re killing yourself, and putting yourself in such a setting as against sitting in the peace of your home and chanting a prayer? Is that less heartfelt or genuine? Well, I’m sure the gods would agree with me, but if they don’t, then I’m better off being a fallible human-being.