Reading a new chapter (or perhaps a new book!)

How easy or difficult is it to start a new relationship, or to fall in love again (and again and again, as is the case for many of us!)? I'd say, very difficult! So, what makes the journey so difficult for most of us.

To begin with, if it's a very quick move from another relationship, there would be times when you'd keep thinking of him or her even when you're with the new person. My personal experience of rebound phases (yes, i've been at both ends at different points in my life) is that never ever ever ever get into a relationship when your head and heart's with someone else, and also, don't even try and act as that lovely angel who is going to help the guy/girl get over his ex. Love is a realisation, and nothing or no one can make you feel it or become aware of it but you, yourself. Besides, if you are high and heavy on the guilt quotient (like me!), you may just end-up hating yourself for leading someone on. So, this establishes point number one -- your inability to get over that touch, those words, and those 'old' times and moments.

The days, months and years that you invest in a particular relationship can often seem like a waste when you see things crumbling apart. I've had friends, and have personally fallen prey to the fact that one often continues a relationship only and only because they find it too cumbersome to step into a new one. Weird, but true! Just telling your new partner about your likes and dislikes, your weaknesses and strengths, and just about anything and everything all over again can be quite a pain. Who said 'comfort zone' is a term that can only be used in a professional set-up; it's pretty much true even in personal relationships. In spite of knowing that the relationship is as rotten as hell, you continue just cause you're too lazy to initiate a new one. Perhaps getting too uncomfortable is comforting at such times.

The third and suckiest is the "what will people say" reason. You often find people, especially girls, who find it terribly difficult to step out of a relationship and step into a new one just because of the fact that 'all their friends' and the entire world already knows about their ex, and thus, it's rather embarrassing to get into a new one. I think, there's no sillier way of killing yourself than believing in this. At the risk of sounding a complete feminist, i want to say that somewhere the society can be blamed for this. A guy who messes around is simply termed as a flirt, while a woman who may have had a few relationships (hate the word 'affair'...feels like an illegal, illicit act or something) is so easily called a slut. Slut or no slut, my chicklets, the world's not going to be at your side in your time of need, but perhaps the one you're letting go of could be.

Of course, another extremely common reason is that you may just be so hurt or abused in your previous relationship that it may be impossible for you to trust anyone else. This is something that most of us battle with. To be honest, i don't think there's any answer to this feeling. Just take your chances, and watch every step. But, alas, you can do this only if you're the type who loves with as much the mind as the heart.

These four reasons are the ones that come to my mind right now. Of course, everyone has their own journey and story to tell. But at the end of the day, to all those who've loved and lost, i can just say one thing -- it's worth living in the hope of finding true love. Someone who would appreciate the real you. Some people get lucky with just the first person itself, while many of us end-up spending a whole lot of time. Also, it's not always about the length of time that you've spent with someone before taking the big leap (marriage, that is!). I've seen long nine-ten years of relationships breaking, and have also seen lovely marriages that have worked in spite of the couple knowing each other for just a few months or so before stepping into the bond.

And it's not about finding the 'perfect' one, but simply about knowing and finding the one who sees perfection in your imperfection...a person who can make the journey of life just so enjoyable, adventurous and beautiful. Like i say, i'll always be positive about finding that man who really appreciates the mushy, moody, emotional and impulsive me. I truly believe in it!